Are the words you speak subconsciously sabotaging your dreams? Learn the language of self-sabotage and how to stop it.
Do you know why some people never succeed at getting what they want? Because they lack self-awareness and the mindset they need to succeed.
Language is a powerful motivator in helping us create the life we want. Words have a vibration – a frequency – that transfers energy to your resolve and either energizes or weakens it.
When we use empowering words and language, we create empowering circumstances around ourselves that allow us to manifest our goals.
If you want to know whether someone will succeed or not, just listen to the words they use about themselves and their dreams.
The language of self-sabotage and how to stop it
Most people don’t even realise that their words are subconsciously sabotaging their dreams and preventing them from getting what they desire the most.
Some of the self-sabotaging terms we use include:
- I will try
- Soon
- In the future
- Next year
- When [this happens] I will do [that]
When you tell yourself, “I will try,” you’re essentially saying you won’t do it.
As the Jedi master, Yoda, famously told Luke Skywalker during his training in the forests of Endor, “Try not. Do or Do not.”
And when you say, “soon” or “in the future” or “next year” or use qualifiers such as “when this happens, I will do that,” you’re essentially saying “I will never do it.”
Have you ever made such statements?
- I will start a business when my life is stable
- I will be happy when I find a relationship
- I will plan for my retirement in the future
- I will get that degree/find a job/start painting soon
- I will take my bucket list trip next year
Using these terms postpones your success indefinitely because you know that “soon” and “next year” never comes.
If you want to replace these self-sabotaging words with more empowering ones, use the language of the present moment. Speak as if it were already true.
Say to yourself, “I am doing such and such,” even if you’re not yet there. Or if you prefer, tell yourself, “I am working towards achieving my goal every day.”
“I will” pushes your goals into the future.
“I am” brings them into the present.
This puts your mind in a receptive state where you’ll be more open to the inspiration and creative ideas you receive from the Universe.
Why do we self-sabotage and what can we do about it?
Our self-sabotaging patterns come from a lack of self-awareness coupled with old fears and programming.
Our subconscious mind is like an over-protective parent who sabotages our dreams in an effort to protect us from the disappointment of failure.
But there are ways to dial back this self-sabotage by dealing with the fears and emotions at the root of these patterns.
Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a powerful way to release emotions that no longer serve us and are keeping us from getting what we want.
It costs nothing to practice EFT and the benefits can be immense. You can practice it in private if it feels strange at first.
In the video here, Brad Yates (my favourite EFT coach) shows how to use tapping or EFT to release patterns of self-sabotage.
If you prefer meditation to EFT, here’s a guided meditation to help you release fear and limitations.
If these tips helped you become aware of your self-sabotage habits or overcome your self-sabotage, let me know in the comments below.
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